When I woke up this morning I was lucky enough to have a quiet moment with my hubby and a chance to talk with him a bit about my business. I told him that I wanted to blog today about something different, meaningful and not just trendy. His response “How to keep the love alive AFTER marriage.” ~ Brilliant
All too often after we get married and we get back in to the normal routine of life we are naive enough to believe that the sparks will continue with no effort at all because we are in love. I hate to tell you this ladies but it does not. Yes the first year of marriage is wonderful, blissful and utterly romantic but then before you know it your five years down the road with 1.5 kids and your looking at the man you walked down the aisle with and your wondering “who are you?”. People change, this is normal, but as long as two people are able to change together, remain focused on eachother and what’s really important in life you too will survive the Marriage Blues.
Now in life and love I have not always been one of the lucky ones {I’m about to get personal here}. My high school sweetheart treated me like gold but as it turned out he was also treating every other girl in the high school, in fact in the town, like gold so right from the start I was led to believe that ALL men are lying cheaters. My second serious relationship brought me Jekyll and Hyde. By day a somewhat nice but unsteady individual and by night an abusive and scary monster. I do not talk about this relationship much as the memories are devastating but my advice to women reading this ~There are WAY better guys out there and you DO deserve them~. My point in telling you this is to appreciate that my opinion is not biased when I say “I have the greatest husband in the world”.
When my husband came in to my life six and a half years ago I knew within two weeks that he was the one. We were engaged within 5 months and married in a year a half. Yes people thought we were crazy and I’m sure there are lots out there that lost some money. But we were in love and we “just knew”. Fast forward 5 years, 1 dog, a 17 month old daughter, 2 very busy careers and you are walking a day in our lives. With everything that we have going on we find it of the utmost importance to try and remind each other why we fell in love in the first place. Whether its a small note or a big gesture showing your love to your spouse is the most important thing you can do because at the end of the day when the kids are grown up and gone it’s just the two of you.
Now for anybody that knows myself or my husband on a personal level they will tell you the same things “Stacey is so lucky”, “Donnie is so romantic”, “I wish my husband did that”, so I’m here today to share with you a few of my husbands Best Moves! {ladies pass these on}
*Please note all of these “moves” go both ways in our house and should in every house*
1. Leave a note: It takes two minutes to sit down and write your spouse a sweet, funny, sexy or meaningful note and I guarantee you it will leave them with a smile on their face all day.
2. Take Charge: There is nothing I love more then coming home to a “honey you have half an hour to get dressed because were going out”. Whether it’s a coffee date, movie and dinner or a walk just the two of us we value our time together no matter what were doing. I think that every marriage should have a mandatory date night monthly (more if you can) it helps you to keep your connection and gives you something to look forward to.
3. Set The Mood: Now ladies most of you think this is directed to you and yes a little something racy definitely helps set the mood but there’s so much more to it then that. Men – call your wife during the day just to tell her she’s beautiful and see what happens when you get home. Setting the mood is about the emotions, the connection and yes the candles and racy outfits.
4. Give Each Other a Break: Yes we all love our spouses but we also need time to remember who we are without them. The healthiest relationships are those that include 100% of each person not 50/50 and if you don’t have time to know and love yourself how can you know and love your spouse. {I’m going to insert a heart melting story here. Last weekend I was lucky enough to go away for 2 days to Banff alone as that is my renewal place. I can breathe there and just be me. When I arrived to my hotel room at the gorgeous Rimrock Resort there were some very beautiful flowers and a sweet note from my hubby awaiting my arrival. The next morning I was awoken to a knock on my door followed by breakfast in bed (pre-ordered by him) and a day at the spa (pre-booked by him). Yes it may have only taken 30 minutes of his time to plan all three but I still have the smile on my face weeks later. And no these events do not happen all the time but when they do they make you feel special, appreciated and most importantly loved}.
5. Always Kiss Me Goodnight: I know you’ve all seen it on signs and canvases, infact a few of you may have it in your bedroom, but the statement rings true. My husband and I never go to bed without saying goodnight, I love you and giving eachother a kiss. Intimacy, whether its hand holding or love making, is in my eyes one of the most important aspects of a marriage. Work on it everyday and keep it alive!
6. Have FUN: My husbands says to me all the time “Honey life is too short to stress” and although at the times he says it I’m usually stressing and would love to strangle him I know he’s right. Life is too short to stress the small stuff. Who cares if your late, lost or both have a laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it. If you can laugh your way through life together you can make it through anything.
I hope this inspires you to go home tonight and tell your spouse how much you love them and to maybe try just a little bit harder. And to my amazing husband thank you for everything you do. You are a blessing in my life and you remind me everyday what true love really is.
Our Wedding Day July 28th, 2007
Our Vow Renewal April 14, 2012 {Keeping the Love Alive!}
Always Love
Stacey Foley~ Edmonton Wedding planner